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hyphen

6 Tevet 5785

looking back, will my life be
distilled to my years of birth and death
and separated by a horizontal line?

Will I be simplified to
a laundry list of my accomplishments
the ways I gave back to my community
the relational roles that I dutifully fulfilled

however, I believe
the measure of my life is not in
   my professional titles
   or the ledger in my bank account
   or painting a perfect picture of myself
   or whether I am well-liked
   or the connections that I make
   or how many kids I have
   or the clothes I wear
   or how I style my hair

of all these and more
I am quite proud
still, I choose to honor myself
in the small moments
not those that are loud

the legacy I want to leave
is all the things
that most people didn’t see:

   after being short with her kids,
   she usually remembered to apologize

   carried water in her car to give
   to unhoused people at stoplights

   turned tidying into
   opportunity for silliness

   quietly hummed to herself
   while doing the dishes

   approached new community members
   to help them feel welcome

   listened to her husband’s feedback
   and lowered her defenses

   brought up the difficult conversation
   with an old friend

   said “no” when asked to do
   something she had no interest in

   promised “be there in a couple of minutes”
   but usually took longer

   admired the spores under a fern’s leaf
   made space to feel her ongoing grief

   painted fences
   took naps
   had a supremely messy car
   played word games on her phone

   stepped away from her kids
   to take time alone

society told her to spend more hours at work
told her to be the glue

she vowed she’d workout
or empty the dishwasher
or check off another to-do

but instead she listened to the little voice inside
that told her to bring this poem to light
for at the end of the day
it’s moments like these
that make up a life\